A blog is a terrible thing to waste.

O.K. so sue me. I've been neglecting the blog for awhile.

To all the people that read this blog, I'd like to appologize to both of you. ;)

Blogging is cool and all, but I don't think it should be a mandatory thing you feel like you have to do. That's why alot of bloggers give up on the things after awhile. I'll keep this one up and running, but I'm not going to devote any serious time to it.

In other news, I quit drinking soft drinks. Now I mostly drink water or tea, and the occasional koolaid. I really feel alot better. Nutrasweet is probably really bad for you. I've heard people saying that Diet Mountain Dew will kill you. I'm not so sure about that because I've consumed more Diet Mountain Dew than anyone on the planet and I'm still here. Although I must admit the stuff really does take its toll.

The main drawback I've suffered from dropping the stuff is I can't stay awake as much. I get sleepy from time to time, kinda like an old person. Course, I'm getting on up there in years, but I still look damn good.

At any rate, I'm not like those vegan's that's gonna be all in your face about not doing something because they choose not too. Those dirty non-chicken eatin' muthas....!

State of the Handheld and the Big N.

I love video games. I always have. I remember Space Invaders when it was new in the Arcade. I was drawn to it. It compelled me to approach and gaze into the amazing spectacle that it was. I was young then, but now I'm all grown up. Do I love games any less? Hell no! But in the years that I've grown up, the games have grown up too. Now, it's an amazing industy. Although it doesn't have the same feeling that it used to, the gaming industry still equals love to me.

I watched a special today about the Game Boy and all it's cousins. The show went into a great deal of depth about what other handhelds came out and tried to unseat Nintendo. Nearly every system that came out was better than the gameboy in every way exept for 2 things. Battery life and the huge library of software Nintendo had at it's disposal from the old NES games. Nintendo not only swatted all these other systems down, but made fun of them. A new handheld would come out and it would have a color screen, amazing games ect. What did Nintendo do? The re-released the Gameboy with colored covers. Same old system, but now it's in color. Not color games mind you, just the case. Later, Nintendo developed the Gameboy pocket. Same system once again, yet this time it was smaller. Then, they released the Super Gameboy, that allowed you to play gameboy games on your SNES. Not a great innovation to play blocky, black and white games on a huge TV, but Nintendo marketed the hell out of it and it sold, go figure.

Nintendo finally released the gameboy color and people bought it in droves. The gameboy advance had been ready for the market for a long time, but Nintendo held the system back because the gameboy color was selling too well. Gameboy advance hits the market, they sell in record numbers. Then they start doing the color case thing again, then they release the SP, and probably alot of other stuff I missed.I can't explain why the gameboy has done so well. I know it was in the right market at the right time, and packaging it with Tetris was a brilliant marketing strategy, and I'm sure it helped.

Now the PSP is coming. We all know Sony plays to win. I think Nintendo is about to lose some market share pretty soon in the handheld market. I welcome it. Nintendo rapes consumers. I can't say I blame them, why not ride the gravy train while it's there? Nintendo has made many mistakes since the decision of using cartriges on the N64. As of late, every Nintendo hardware product is inferior to it's peers. I have alot of faith in Nintendo's ability to make great games. They use that inferior hardware and make the most beautiful games with it.

Don't think I'm a Nintendo hater, I'm far from it. I just think that it's time Nintendo pulls off the gloves and reminds Sony and everybody else out there why Nintendo (used to be) #1. They need hardware that will blow all the other systems away. Even if they lose money on the system. Imagine what Nintendo could do with current X-box hardware. I'm not going to bring up the PS2, cuz Nintendo certainly is a better system than Sony's, however, Sony has a massive library and developers are really used to the tech.

I have high hopes for the PSP and will definately buy one. I have yet to buy a gameboy of any kind. My thinking behind it is that these days, games should be more emmersive. You should really feel drawn into the world, and my big ass won't fit through that tiny SP screen, running 16-bit games. The bit wars are over, 3D is king and that's just the way it is. There is a market for 2D, without a doubt, but I'm not in that market. Portable gaming? Hell yeah, bring it on, but I want portable gaming, not portable nostalgia. Will the PSP unseat Nintendo? I don't know. Nintendo is coming out with the DS, and while the PSP clearly blew them away at E3, I wouldn't want to take that bet. I think Nintendo has more tricks up their sleeves. I mean, if they can sell the same system 3 or 4 times who knows what they can do with the DS?

Guns and Roses

Man, I forgot how much I loved Guns and Roses until the other day. VH1 did a Behind the Music episode on them. They really had a unique sound. Some of they're stuff reminds me of the Beatles at times. I know that's an odd comparison, but some of the songs on Use Your Illusion I&II sorta remind you of the Beatles. It's a shame that Axel Rose was such a lunatic and that everybody else in the bad stayed so drunk that they didn't know where they were most of the time. We all hate to see a great band go down.

I remember when Wham broke up I was... um... just kidding.

Seriously, I put G&R up there close to Aerosmith and the other great Rock bands of our time. In all my years of MP3 Hunting on Napster I never once thought to look for GNR Stuff. I'm gonna go out and purchase those CD's again.

Feeling Better

Man, I've felt really bad for a long time, my legs we're hurting, my back, my everything basically. But for the past 3 days or so I've been feeling a little better every day. I can't explain it, and don't really understand it, but I feel great now. Those of you that don't know me won't know what a big deal this is, but I walked 2 miles this morning. My neigbor asked me "What are you doing outside?, in the Daytime?" haha. I laughed in his general direction and said "amazing ain't it?"

Basically, I've been sitting on my ass for a long time, not really doing much of anything, but something inside me is changing. I feel motivated to do great things, I'm even smoking less than I usually do. I normally limp around and moan when I get up or walk or anything of that nature, but I'm not limping at all now.

I just thought that was cool and figured I'd share my feelings with the group. ;)

Lights out!

Woke up this evening around 10 pm. Something odd was going on. The power was out. So I get up, and realize I slept through a really severe storm. (as usual) ;) I sat around and talked to my dad most of the night, there was nothing else to do. The lights finally came back on around 1am or so. So I had some breakfast and got back on my computer.

The main thing I got from this is how dependant we are on technology. You can't do much of anything without electricity. Almost everything we enjoy has power running through it. I imagine life was pretty boring before electricity was in every household.

That sux!

Why do some people suck and other people don't suck? Is there a formula or something? Is somebody that makes a bad first impression doomed to suck for all eternity? We all know people that suck, we also know people that do not suck, there are also others that suck/don't suck at any given time. Many people have bad attitudes, but I guess it's easy to get one sometimes. It's one thing to suck at any particular thing, like me, I suck at many things, but I also don't suck on certain things. If you suck in general though, that's pretty bad. There are days when I suck, and days when I don't suck.

I know this guy, he sucks all the time. Nobody likes to be around him cuz he sucks so much. I bet that really sucks for him though, you know, sucking and all. He would knock on the door and everybody would go "Damn!" That's gotta suck. I hope nobody ever does that when I come over, that would suck.

I know other people that don't suck at all, and that sucks too! They don't suck at anything, and that just sucks. Why can't they suck at something so the rest of us won't look like we suck so bad for sucking? I know a girl that doesn't suck at anything at all, and she sucks too!

Man, this whole freakin' post sux!

I think I'm gonna slobber.

I kept my nephew Alex today, he was sick. He had a pretty high temperature. He started feeling worse and wanted to take a nap. So we went to my room and laid on the bed. We finally dozed off after a short time. Later, I heard a noise that woke me up, it was him moaning. I reached over to feel his forehead and he was burning up.

He said "Uncle Dave, I think I'm gonna slobber." he then proceeded to throw up all over my room. I got him in the bathroom and let him finish up. Started cleaning him up and cooling his forehead with a damp cloth.

He's pretty pitiful when he's sick. He appologized for blowing chunks all over my room.

I love that boy more than any father loves his son. I really hate to see him sick.

He told me earlier, that he sat in his room and watched tv for 3 whole days and slobbered all over the place. It was really funny the way he said it.

Democrats Suxxors!

I'm sick of democrats. They lay on heavy propaganda and they want power. I always thought being a democrat was a good thing, and once upon a time it was, but now all democrats want to do is get rid of God, kill unborn children, raise taxes and spend the hell out of money on public services and bigger government. Bush is worse than Hitler, He lied about this and that and he killed cats and hates black people.. blah, blah, blah. They hate Bush, and most of the time they can't control they're rage. They hate to see a Republican President that most of the people love. Visit MoveOn.org and watch the little video they have of Bush, Hitler, Al Gore ect. It's pathetic.

I don't know what your pollitical affiliation is, but it better be republican or I'll slap you like a little bitch!

In all reality, I have no great love for Republicans, but I do believe in what they stand for. So basically, I'm choosing the lesser of two evils. Anybody, republican or democrat in Washington is a crook, plain and simple. I don't trust any of them, they're hungry for power and they get off on it.

We need a revolution or something, and give this country back to the people.

Your Lost Rush, the Blogtrix has you now!

My friend Rush, keeps on bloggin. He's a blog whore. He got me into blogging, his sister, her friends, everybody he knows basically. It's like amway or something. I guess I am too though, but not quite so bad. I can't blame him though, he posts some pretty interesting stuff most of the time. The internet is quite addictive I think. I'm not sure why, I think it's kinda like the tv in a way. A form of entertainment, a connection to other people, and the most amazing source of pornography known to mankind.

I guess blogging is better than looking for porn. At least you get to express yourself.

I'm not worried about Rush. Most people blog for a week or so and it get's old. Eventually, he'll get tired of it. Or he'll keep on going just to prove me wrong. ;)

This is my first day of blogging, and I think it's pretty neat.

Breaking stuff to look tough.

You ever seen those guys that break stuff for Jesus? It's pretty wierd. They break bats over they're leggs and rip up phonebooks, break through huge blocks of ice and all kinds of stuff. They do it all for Jesus. I'm just sayin, I think that's pretty damn wierd.

I've got nothing against anyone using they're talent for Jesus or anything, in-fact, it's quite admirable, But I don't think I would skin a fish for Jesus, or wrestle for Jesus. I mean, these people get on a stage and draw huge crowds, and I just don't get it.

Remember the good old 1980's?

Man, I miss the 80's sometimes. Everything seemed cool back then. I have alot of fond memories from that decade. I remember sitting on the beach listening to Van Halen's new album 1984. The video game industry was revived by Nintendo, Regan was in the whitehouse and life was good. I was going to church alot during that time. I had alot of friends and was pretty popular.

There was no Internet, no reality TV, no Cellphones (Exept for the 30 pounder that couldn't leave your car). There we're no kids shooting teachers at school that I'm aware of, there we're only 3 channels of tv to watch, and there was always something to watch on tv, until they played the national anthem anyway.

Life was really good back then.

I wish I could go back there again, and everything would be the same. <---Ripped!

Going Mental!

Not really, but I do need to get back to work. I'm currently building an Insane Asylum in Unreal Tournament 2004. It's something you don't normally see and I wanted to do something different than the same old tired industrial map. It's coming along pretty good so far, but it's taking a long time.

I really love building game environments. It's alot of work though. Most mappers out there use the stuff that comes with the game, but I build everything on my own, and use my own textures. I'm cool like that. ;)

Today, I'll start by building a linen cart, and work my way around to building a chair and some other stuff.
Pretty boring, doesn't make for a great post, but it's what I'm all about.

I'll come back and post the "Exiting Details" later. ;)

Ain't that a bitch!?

Well, it's a beatiful day out today, and earlier I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't hear the first ring, but I heard the second, that's the one I investigated. When I went out to see who it was, they we're gone. There was however, a bag of tomatoes hanging on my doorknob. We live in the country, and neigbors often do stuff like that. They grow tomatoes, okra, squash, ect. and they take some to their neigbors. I'm not sure who brought them, but I'm positive they're safe.

That brings us to the delima. I've got no bread. I could be comping on a tomatoe sandwich right now, but there is no bread in the house, and I can't get out to get any bread. So I'm stuck here, with nothing to eat. I think there are some cherios, but cherios suck. Besides, no milk. I could go in there and find just about anything to eat, but not have the stuff you need to go with it. We have tea, no sugar, We have butter, no potatoes, we have cheese, no bread for the grilled cheese sandwich. This sickens me to no end. When dad gets home, I'm going to the store and I'm gonna buy 1 of ever kind of food they have, that way, maybey I'll have some lunch tommorow.

I rarely eat lunch, but those damn tomatoes made me hungry.

I've got stale potatoe chips, but they're too stale to eat. I'm skrewed.

My Buddy and his Japanese Babes.

Don't get me wrong, I love Rush. He's been a good friend and all, but this Japanese babe thing has really got to stop. A minute ago he linked me to this.


Now I like babes alot, and I really like Japanese babes too, but Rush is pretty fanaticle about his jap babes.

I like women of most races, Kambodians don't turn me on too much, nor do I care for the hairy Russian babes. But I think Rush is seriously obsessed with Japanese women, and I just don't get it.

I mean, sure, they're cute, some look better than the others, but most of them have fat legs, and are sorta dumpy looking for the most part.

Now I really enjoyed gazing at Fook Me and Fook Yu from Austin Powers Goldmember, and the Japanese E3 babes are also hot.

Rush, dammit... There are other women that look awesome, live a little. Try a hot Mexican babe, or even an American.

Rush also is obsessed with Japanese culture. I on the other hand, have a strong fancy (not obsession) with Japanese architecture. Hard to crack on somebody for likeing Jap babes though, I'm just saying there's a whole rainbow of flavors out there buddy.

And on that note...

Man, I've noticed something that I'd like to share with you guys. It's an observation that hit me one day and had to tell everybody around me. They thought about it and said "your right!" So here goes.

The older you get, the more you bitch and gripe.

It's a constant, and it appears in every walk of life.

I just got to noticing how I bitched, then how my parents bitch, my grandparents bitch, there's just more bitching with age. My nephews are young and they don't bitch. I think life just starts dragging people down more and more every year. It's like a sandblaster eroding your innocence of youth or whatever. What can we do about it? Nothing... Course, we could try bitching less. Also, women tend to bitch more than men, but I think that's in they're genes. It could also be that having periods, bearing children, or not having a penis might cause it. I never bitch about my penis, but if I didn't have one, I'd definately bitch about it.;)

Speaking of Bitches, that reminds me. You should visit my friend Rush's blog. I havn't got the page fixed to where I can link yet, but here's the addy.
the_outer.net

The Darkest Bastion of Misery in the Known Universe

DISCLAIMER(Lunatic Fringe is not responsible for any suicide attempts (Or successful attempts) brought on by reading this post. Read at your own risk.)

Man, I've gotta tell ya. If you ever want to go to the most depressing place you can ever go, visit the hospital. Don't just visit, stay awhile. I had to go sit with my mom in the hospital and I was there for roughly 26 hours. I didn't get any sleep during that entire time. It was bad enough that the lady in room 738 was crying out "Lord Help me!" and "Thy will be done Lord." in the most "I've given up" voice imaginable, but what was going on with my mother was even worse.

NOBODY... and I mean NOBODY wants to be around sick people. Nor do they wish to be around somebody that is around sick people. It's extremely depressing. It was even worse for me because of what's going on with my mother. She would cry alot, and was in pain most of the time. They injected her with morphine often for pain, which made her kinda crazy. She kept making awful faces. She has a trach in so she can't really talk, so it's difficult at best to understand her at any given time. I have to say though that she's doing much better than she was doing. She had been asleep for 2-1/2 months on a resporator and we didn't think she was going to make it. Nobody did. All I could do was pray. She had alot of people praying for her, and it definately did the trick.

But back to the depressing stuff...
I had to be there by her side all the time, my feet we're worn out, I was very tired. I had to go out and smoke, and the whole time I was out there I was thinking I needed to be back in there, but it was a very heavy place.
I didn't want to be in there any more. Thankfully, the doctor told us that we didn't need to be there around the clock, because it would drive you completely nuts. My dad and I both agreed. Dad has been there every single day for the past 3 months. It was easier when she was in ICU and they we're watching her all the time, but us sitting there in the room was just too much.

Now I know what your thinking, this boy is gonna post gloom and doom every damn day. I assure you that's not the case. I'm really a pretty funny guy for the most part, I'm just caught up in some circumstances that make life really hard at the moment. It could happen to anybody, and chances are it will. I'm not saying we should keep looking on the bright side, cuz that's bullshit. The world is slightly more dark than bright, but we all have a light on the inside, and we have to let that light shine or we'd all go nuts. I believe in God. I know that's not too popular according to the media and internet, but most people do believe. I don't always live my life like I should, but for the most part, I'm a good guy.

In closing... I just want to say that if life's got you by the balls, turn around and fuck it.

Tripping the light Fandango.

Don't ask why I chose that title. I don't have a clue. Don't have much to talk about, so I'll just post some random stuff.

Lately, I've been working alot. I'm trying to get a job in the gaming industry. In fact, I've been sorta trying for the past 5 years. Never thought I was good enough, but all that has changed now. I've reached the point where I'm really ready to leave Alabama. My mother is gravely ill, and we thought she would never come home from the hospitol. But miracles do happen, God is real, and he takes care of stuff. Basically, I'm just tired of living here and really need to find a new life for myself.

Damn, I probably shouldn't get too personal on a blog, but hell. In all likelyhood, very few people will read it, and it's probably good therapy for my warped fragile little mind. I don't have that many friends, so most of the people that read this will be strangers, so it's not that big a deal.

So Howdy Stranger!

Every day runs into the next one without a marker or event of any kind that's out of the ordinary. My life is a pretty dark depressing story. I'm not crazy or anything, but that's just my opinion. ;) I need something wonderful to happen. Don't we all though? I never leave my home exept for going to the store or the hospitol. I don't want anyone's pitty, I'm just trying to get all this shit off my chest.

First Post!

O.K. I finally started a blog. I don't know where it'll go, or what I hope to accomplish with it, but here it is.

I was pressured into doing this by my buddy Rush. He's a cornhole, but he's pretty cool. At any rate, here I am world, watch the fuck out. ;)